Sure, you're glad you're not a corporate peon anymore.
But you still might be a little sad that you didn't get invited to a swank holiday party/buffet in a hotel ballroom. Either that or you'd love to have the chance to make sure your former Corporate Compatriots are able to enjoy such overpriced festive glory with a little extra fun.
It's time to stage an intervention and add another gig to your resume. Why not spread some holiday cheer this season by "inviting yourself" to your local hotel this weekend and have a good time?
It's not party crashing. It's party consulting.
Disclaimer: We're not recommending that you break any rules. But if you did....
You've been to the typical office holiday party: cliquey, somber, awkward.
Or worse, stuck in cocktail chatter phase.
The problem is that people just can't let go of their work selves.
Party consultants, this is where you come in.
First, your entrance.
And if this happens:
Just try fake-looking for a generic-named person.
And don't make any sudden movements until people get tipsier.
Then jack things up a notch. If only a few people are dancing, find the forever alone guy or gal:
Join together in an awkward dance covenant.
Then let loose and show everyone what you got.
Now comes the we're-not-drunk-enough-for-this-so-we'll-stare-at-you circle phase:
But you're a party therapist. You're so good that an hour later your party is practically rave-ish.
Soak it in, you Conductor of Party Swagger. You maestro of good times.
Take some photos with your faux co-workers.
Do some quality photobombing.
And if someone asks you to leave, stay classy.
Or you know, not classy.
Even if you leave, you have nothing to be sorry for.