The Bad Freelancer’s Guide to Client Meetings

Aug 27, 2015

Client meetings can be a real pain for even the most experienced freelancer. Check out 5 must-haves for a killer client meeting... and add your own below!

1.) Confidence

The number-one tip for a great client meeting: have CONFIDENCE!

So, don’t slump, okay? Just – stand. Stand normally.

No, not like that. Like a human!

...Is that how you stand all the time? No, no – no, it’s fine. Just forget I said anything.

Listen, don’t overthink it, that’s NOT confident. But don’t UNDERthink it, that’s probably not confident, either.

Just… don’t think. Stop.

Stop thinking.

2.) Confirmation

A few days before your scheduled appointment, call and confirm your time. Nothing’s changed, right?

Then call again, the next day – yes, it’s you again, just checking in! No pressure!

Then call the day before. Wait, they didn’t pick up– okay, leave a message.

Call again; maybe their phone line is busy? But then why is it ringing?

Put your head between your knees, breathe. Call again. Leave another message.

Beg them to call you back. Try not to cry.


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3.) Timeliness

Nobody likes a tardy Timmy!

Head off accusations of punctuality by camping out at their office door, the night before your meeting.

If the security guy comes, offer him one of your delicious Secret Recipe* s’mores. Who can resist a s’more? Not Bob from Security, that’s for darned sure.

*The Secret Ingredient is tears.

4.) Preparation

Nothing guarantees a smooth-running meeting like preparation. Memorize every possible escape route in their office; exits, windows, all of it.

If a fire breaks out, you’re going to look like a real hero. And EVERYBODY WANTS TO HIRE THE FAMOUS FREELANCE HERO! STEP 3, PROFIT!

5.) Appropriate Attire

The key to dressing appropriately for client meetings? Clean lines, with a “wow” factor.

Pick clothes that make you feel confident, powerful, professional – in control.

… go dressed as a fighter jet.

Kate Hamill lives and works in New York City, where she consumes an inordinate amount of Sriracha daily. You can catch up with her on Twitter at @katerone.